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Casualties
K6bcg
Jimmy
Wes
Lassader
Randall
Cory
ShoSto1
Sean
Trevor
Mike
David
Chris
Dj
Jack
Stephen
CURRENT THOUGHTS ABOUT THE WAR:
"No Comment"
- Enigma444444
"Whoever this Glenn kid is he's going down."
- Lance
"I'm not going to be on the same team as Wes!"
-
Jake
"Oooohwayyoooheeeeebark."
- Kevin Fulmer
"Heres my boomstick."
- Ben
"I'm on Glenn's team because
it's the Confederate team!"
-
Dan
"K6bcg's body was so twig like, I could easily pick up his body off the ground and use him as
a human shield, so I did."
- Josh
"Tell my friend that I'll never pay him back those 10 dollars I borrowed"
- Randall
" What's not to like?"
- Nolan
" Were going to get these Animal shits!"
- Kei
" Never Mind"
- Teirt
"Bacon tastes goooooooood. Porkchops taste
goooooooooood.
- MaxRetarted
"John's here! Party's OVER!
- Glenn
"No"
-
Teirt
"Where's my dinner woman?!"
- Lance
Current News
of War
(updated every day)
2-23-04
Both Armies are planning
their tactics for attack. The war will begin February 29th. Fatigue and disease have slowed down MaxRetarted's plan for attack.
Currently the attacks are kept very secret. The word I have been told is that the Deserters will be eliminated by the Vigilantes.
Both Armies have cut a deal with the Vigilantes,the deal is that if the Vigilantes eliminate deserters from both Armies they
will be protected from both Armies by law. Also, General Glenn has recruited a man only known as "Dan", sources say that he
is an expert at boomstickery and redneckery. He is also an expert at hunting Elk so he can provide food for the troops.
2-24-04
Frequent moves
from Glenn's army have occurred. His second in command, "Jake" has moved because of problems with other cadet Wes. Also, "Josh"
has left because of complications with an ally that he did not approve of, but that Glenn did approve of without his permission.
This ally known as "Nolan" has been known for notorious crimes in the past that weren't prosecuted. Crimes include: Robbery,
Murder, and 5 counts of Drug Abuse. Apparently, the Vigilantes have already called off the deal with the two armies and
have decided to kill any deserter that leaves both armies, unless the deserters want to join and be a vigilante.
The Vigialantes have also said that quote: "No matter who you are we will get you, it doesn't matter if you're on Max's army
or Glenn's army, we're opening fire on everything that moves."
2-25-04
New Recruits into
Glenn's army have greatly inceased his chances of winning but he is still overly outnumbered by MaxRetarted's Army. Enigma444444
tried to make a peace group called B.U.I.(Brothers Under Independence) and desserted Glenn's army. He did not want to join
the Vigilantes so they brutally beat Enigma444444 and took him as a P.O.W., Glenn's army stormed the Vigilante's base grounds
and rescued Enigma444444 before he was executed and joined Glenn's army once again.Dan and his platoon rescued Enigma444444
and also were able to catch some Elk and gather some good Bear skins.
2-26-04
3 days and counting
until the war begins. Glenn's army has had frequent attacks by the Vigilantes troops over the recent resecue attempt of Enigma444444.
Vigilantes have frequently bombed barracades protecting Glenn's armies, and are causing mass confusion in the streets. Lack
of food and supplies in MaxRetarted's army have diminished the energy in his troops and have also started plans for a revolt
amongst soldiers. The Vigilantes troops have gotten too power hungry, and are scaring townspeople. Under the facist ruling
of "Ben", troops have started to go insane and kill random people and family members.
2-27-04
The first casualty
in the war is reported before the war has even started. K6bcg tried to run off to Glenn's army because he was afraid that
the Vigilantes might kill him. Bringing troop "Josh" along with him they ran to the camp. What K6bcg didn't know was that
"Josh" wanted to secretly go to MaxRetarted's army. When the Vigilantes found that two of their own men were missing.
A small group of five hunted after them. The troops found the two camping by a stream.Using all the resources he had, "Josh"
carried the thin K6bcg in the air and used him as a human shield to fend off the Vigilantes gunfire. As bullets continued
to barrage K6bcg's body. "Josh" continued to use the dead body to block the bullets that were coming at him until he got under
the protection of MaxRetarted's army. MaxRetarted's army fended off the vigilantes with gunfire and bombs, no one was injured.
"Josh" was made an official soldier of MaxRetarted's Army and K6bcg's body was buried under a Radioshack.
2-28-04
General Glenn
has put on the record that he will soon take out MaxRetarted's army and the war will be over in a month. General MaxRetarted
says that if he wins he will surrender his website to him. So my sources are telling me that General MaxRetarted is very confident
that he will win this war. This Reporter is on MaxRetarted's side and not in favor of Glenns side. A public statement has
been released by the Vigilantes Captain. He told local reporters that the Vigilantes have become wild and out of control.
He is trying to fix the problem even though he is in fear of his own men.
2-29-04
The war has begun.
Both armies marched toward the meeting point at Redhill and met with gunfire at 2 P.M. The wild violence and massive explosions
have been too great for reporters to be on the field so we don't have any word if there are casualties. Obviously there must
be some casualties but to clarify who it is, we have to wait until both armies meet at the second warground, to calrify the
body count.
3-1-04
Both armies have
cleared from Redhill. A total surprise for reporters today. It seems that the townspeople fought both armies with whatever
they had to drive them out of their town. A young woman in her 20's told reporters this: "I picked up my Daddy's shotgun and
shot into the crowd of smoke and dust." The explosions and gunfire were all from local people who lived there. A group of
teenage boys made homemade bombs and C-4 explosives. The reported casualties are as follows: Cadet Randall, Private Lassader,
and "Wes." 2 of which on MaxRetarted's army. 1 of which on Glenn's army. Reported injuries are as follows: General MaxRetarted
was shot in the kneecaps rendering him paralyzed from the waist down. There have also been reports of a double agent among
both armies that betrayed Glenn's army. Investigations are under way to find out who this double agent is. This double agent
whoever he is will be sentenced to death by torture. Vigilante Captain "Ben" was shot at today by one of his own men. The
troop known as "Jimmy" was hung after being forced to watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy for 8 hours straight. To ensure
that "Jimmy" would not kill himself before they could kill him as a result of watching the horrible show. They bound his arms
behind his back and stapled his eyelids open.
3-2-04
Both armies have
not been seen since the great battle. The reason must be because of injuries that troops are recovering from. The medical
help has been swamped with victims in the past 2 days and the War has officialy been stopped. While both armies are recouping,
the Vigilantes have begun frequent attacks on townspeople and the armies' recruitment centers. "Ben" has sent frequent attacks
on MaxRetarted's army because of comments he made about his beliefs, and thus he has claimed war on MaxRetarted's army. A
casualty from "Ben's" army has been reported. As one of his troops tried to storm MaxRetartd's base camp, he was killed by
stepping on a land mine. The person who died is identified as "Cory." More will be reported tomorrow.
To hear some sounds and audio from the great battle
click on the link below! Wait till the sound file loads so it will not sound skippy.
Audio From the War
3-4-04
The war is reopened
for battling. After the crushing blow to MaxRetarted's Army. They decided to fight back against the Vigilantes. In the middle
of the night MaxRetarted's troops were secretly diggin an underground tunnel under the Vigilantes base hangout. Without the
Vigilantes guards noticing, MaxRetarted's troops detonated the bomb and the Vigilantes fell through the ground into a huge
crater. There are no specified deaths yet, but a reporter doing a documentary with the vigilantes did get a sound clip of
the explosion. To hear it click on the link below.
Bombing Audio
3-5-04
The Vigilante's
army has crumbled and their base is destroyed. Survivors from the explosion in a desperate attempt, ran their seperate
ways each begging to join the armies. Surprisingly only one person died. Shosto1 was killed by the esplosion. The Captain
"Ben" fled to Glenn's army as well as his 2nd in command Logan. Lance however joined his cousin's side in the war and is now
fighting with him. This gives a definite advantage to MaxRetarted's army because Lance is a skilled marksman and sniping expert.
The body of Shosto1 was buried under a radioshack alongside K6bcg and Jimmy.
3-6-04
MaxRetarted has
fully recovered from his temporary paralysis. The second battle of the great Glenn war continues today. With frequent air
attacks by Glenn's army it does not look good for MaxRetarted. Many troops are demanding a peace treaty be made, but all their
suggestions are being denied by both Generals. Plans about finding an inside man are still under works. Suspicions and evidence
are pointing to Nolan. Nolan has been known before for scheming and manipulative acts. Frequent inventory has been missing
from Glenn's supply closet. People are pointing fingers at Nolan because he has been known for cases of theft in previous
years.
3-7-04
Nolan has turned
up missing. The traitor case has been solved. It was indeed Nolan. After finding two brutally slaughtered troops in
both armies campsites yesterday, forensic scientists were on the job and found Nolan DNA on both bodies. Nolan fled from Glenn's
army and now both armies are in a worldwide manhunt to find the traitor known as Nolan. The two murdered men are identified.
On MaxRetarted's army, Sean was killed. On General Glenn's army, Trevor was killed. Now both armies are spending millions
of dollars to find this man and his terrorist orginization. A composite sketch and photo have been released to the public.
If you have any information on this man contact MaxRetarted's army or General Glenn's army. Nolan and his accomplice known
as Jason are displayed in the photo below. Jason on the left and Nolan on the right.
This is the last photo on record taken of Nolan. If you know anything
about this man's whereabouts contact MaxRetarted's army and/or General Glenn's army. This traitor must be caught and executed.
3-8-04
The troops have
almost found Nolan's secret hideout. Trails of food have been left behind by the fugitive. The troops caught Jason and have
him under questioning at the moment under heavy surveilance. The troops are very close to catching Nolan. A photo has been
released to the public of the troops excavation. The photo is pictured below. Pictured below are 4 of MaxRetarted's troops:
Lance, Josh, Jack, and Teirt. The picture is the exact moment before capturing Jason who is around the corner.
3-9-04
After stumbling
upon Nolan's hideout the troops stormed in, only to find smoke and dead bodies. The troops are getting closer. The battle
between General MaxRetarted and General Glenn continued today with 4 casualties. Sean and Mike from MaxRetarted's army and
Dj and Chris from Glenn's army. The 4 men were fighting eachother when a surprise attack by townspeople took their lives.
The townspeople wired home made land mines across a grassy field where they were and then a huge explosion covering a half
a mile in diameter rang out and took 4 lives. This recorded sound of the blast was saved from the horrible explosion.
Explosion Audio
3-10-04
Josh, Teirt, Lance
and Jack continued their search for Nolan. When they spotted Nolan on a Sattelite tower, Jack, climbed up a ladder to retrieve
him. What he didn't know, was that Nolan triggered the ladder with explosives. As he was in arms length distance between him.
He detonated the ladder and sent Jack's body parts flying through the air. Nolan then ran off in his Yugo at speeds
of 23 m.p.h. The troops walked alonside the car and told Nolan to pull over, but he took out 2 submachine guns and
shot at the officers. With his hand off the wheel he lost control of the Yugo and it sped off a cliff. There is still no word
if he survived or not. Jack was pronounced dead at 2:00 A.M. last night of extreme chunkiness.
3-11-04
Teirt, Josh, and
Lance continued their search today. They explored the Yugo vehicle and there was no body inside. Nolan is still on the loose.
If you see him lock your doors protect your children and do not feed him because he could get angry. There also might be a
big change in his appearance due to plastic surgery. If he has gone through plastic surgery, he has two marks on his body
to identify him. One of his eyes is green and brown, and the other is just green. He also has a tattoo of Martin Lawrence
on his back. If you have any idea of where this man might be hiding please call the authorites. General Glenn and MaxRetarted's
armies are dwindling and have not had recruits for many weeks. Urgent messages to the public have been sent out, to ask for
more recruitments. When MaxRetarted and his army were about to release gun fire on Glenn's army, Nolan's terrorist organization
stormed on the scene and detonated a car bomb in the middle of the battle. 9 people were wounded and 2 people were in serious
care. The terrorist organization released a message to the public, saying that they are part of this war now. No names of
the members were given, but much chaos is expected.
3-12-04
The Quest for
Nolan continues. Nolan's terrorist organization has committed suicide bombings near MaxRetarted's base camps and General Glenn's
base camps. No casualtites were reported. Nolan's terrorist orginization released a tape of Nolan talking about their next
terrorist attack and when it would occur. He said his next attack was going to assassinate both generals and take over both
armies. Heavy guard around the Generals is expected.
3-13-04
Nolan has officialy
changed his face to look like someone else. After a raid of a Cosmetic surgery building in Tustin, records of Nolan were found.
Many leads have been given to the local authorities as well as descriptions of his new face. Also there have been records
of his credit card purchases. He has boughten many microchips used to remotely control explosives and to build rocket launchers
as well. Most likely, Nolan has stolen the plans of the late K6bcg and is using his plans to build many weapons and ammunition.
Sources say that he is inventing a new kind of bullet that will go through an armored car or tank with ease. Nolan's terrorist
organization has undergo frequent car bombs near Irvine and have killed over 129 civilians. 450 civilians are seriously wounded.
A memorial service is being held for the victims at the Tustin Cemetery and Merorial Grounds. General MaxRetarted and General
Glenn are urging the public to give their troops more clues about Nolan's whereabouts.
3-14-04
Troop Lance disembarked
from the squad early last night while they were all asleep. He decided to take the mission into his own hands like he did
previously when he was on the vigilante's team. Equipped with a sniper rifle he picked up on Nolan's tracks. He has concluded
that Nolan has purchased a new YUGO vehicle that is upraded with nitro and can reach speeds of 27 m.p.h. with the nitrous.
Lance spotted Nolan's new car at 2:00A.M. last night. He sniped out the tires and blew up the fuel tank. He stormed the car
and found someone in there he had not seen before. It seems that it was a decoy. Nolan seems to have impersonators now to
keep him out of harm. When the fake Nolan woke up, he was quickly eliminated. Lance found documents of a building
in Garden Grove that may be Nolan's secret hideout. Upon returning to the site, Lance was welcomed by the other troops who
were attacked by a fake Nolan in their sleep. Lance was blamed of being a traitor until he showed up with Nolan's hideout
map and the troops apologized for the incovenience. The fake Nolan that attacked them in their sleep was sedated and sent
to MaxRetarted's base for further questioning.
3-15-04
In mass confusion
and panic. Nolan's terrorist organization broke therough Maxretarted's base camp gates and stormed the troops. Armed with
pipes and chainsaws the terrorists bore through the army with full force. While General MaxRetarted was in his tent, one of
the terrorists beat him up with a pipe. The terrorist broke his leg and caused a mass panic. Before the terrorist could do
anything else he was shot to death by master marksman Kei. Many deaths followed the incident. No terrorists escaped however.
Kei eliminated every single one with one bullet to the head. The bodies were packed in a truck and sent to Nolan's supposed
secret hideout. General MaxRetarted is in a complete isolation from the rest of the outside world at the moment and may not
return to his post until 2 days later.
3-16-04
General MaxRetarted
is still in isolation and is expected to be back in action tomorrow. Nolan's terrorist organization spotted a new target today
and attacked General Glenn's basecamp. The explosion seriously injured five people and killed one. The body is identified
to be Stephen, a long time soldier of Glenn's army. The body was found 30 feet from the base in some brush. Both it's legs
were missing. The truck filled with bodies was delivered to Nolan's secret hideout today. The driver purposely drove through
the building and set it on fire. Nolan escaped with Jason in his tricked out YUGO and hasn't been seen since. Reports of them
fleeing to Africa are spreading around.
3-17-04
MUTINY! Glenn's
army had a mutiny today. Led by former Captain of the Vigilantes team, Ben, him and the troops stormed the Generals tent and
tried to kill him. He was not successful however. As punishment for Ben's subversive(vocab word) behavior, he was strapped
to their catapult and flung into the woods. No further information of Ben's current status has come in.
3-18-04
Ben was found
today. With mere scratches and cuts. He was taken as a P.O.W. by MaxRetarted's army. This quote was sent out by the P.O.W.
"Please help me, they feed me this horrible german salad called croudace. I can't take it just kill me now, just kill me now!"
Terrifying words from an even more terrifying man. Our sources tell us that croudace is made of the following ingredients.
Croudace
1 cup chopped
ham
2 cups chopped
ham
3 cups chopped
sugar
234 cups crisco
5,600,900,800
tsps. of mayonaisse
1 tsp. of oregano
1 boot
MMM. MMM. Now
that's what I call good ol' fashioned southern cooking.
3-20-04
This news page
is looking for some juicier stories about the war. If you have any information that this site does not know about the great
glenn war please submit your story to our publisher. If your story is officialy researched and proven factual then you will
become an official freelance reporter of this site and provide us with Glenn War articles as much as you can. Stories are
openly expected. If you want to submit an article about the Glenn War and have it published on this site. Instant Message
Max the Return on AOL Instant messenger. Then after this copy, and paste the article and send it in the AIM window. If it
is backed up by facts and if it is well written enough, your article will be posted on this page for the daily news article
about the Glenn war. Submit your articles Today! MaxRetarted and it's affiliates aer not responsible for any changes in the
original articles by the freelance reporters. The articles, if published, will have the writer's name and/or sn underneath
the article.
3-22-04
Nolan has abandoned
the base and has gone in to hiding. He is suspected to be hidden in caves with his long time partner Jason. Nolan has not
commented publically in a long time. No word has been spoken from him for a long while. Reporters from all over the world
are trying to get interviews with the terrorist leader but nothing has been opened up at the moment. One reporter actually
was granted the right to interview the terrorist but was quicly kept captive and is kidnapped with a ransom of one million
dollars. The reporter is pictured below with death threats to his name by Nolan and his terrorist organization. In the second
picture below is the captured reporter with today's newspaper.
3-24-04
Nolan has been
captured! It is not sure yet if it really is him because of the massive plastic surgery he went under but DNA samples are
being taken at the moment. The plastic surgery went wrong and made him look like a 12 year old boy. Outraged with the appearance
he gained, he blew up the building and killed all of the workers. No more word about the matter has been released at the moment.
3-25-04
A picture of Nolan
Captured will be released on Saturday. Please be patient!
3-29-04
Nolan and his
terrorist organization found out where Nolan was held and blew up his cell. His terrorists and himself escaped from the prison.
Nolan took the picture of himself with him so noone could find out about him ever again. Nolan is armed and very dangerous.
Keep your windows shut and do not go out after 8:00 P.M. in fear of murders or disease. He has gotten a hold of a virus from
the government's plant and is telling everyone that he is going to unleash the virus on American citizens. Do not open
any unmarked mail or letters.
3-29-04
Nolan has been
captured again. On the way to his cave hideout, local authorities set spike strips all over the roads. There was no need for
these however. Nolan's YUGO vehicle popped it's tires because the tires are made of eraser material. When the car collided
off the road. Police gathered to the scene and captured Nolan and three of his terrorists. The terrorists are known as Jason,
John, and Brian. More about these individuals are being accumulated at this time. Nolan's photo was found today and is going
to be posted soon. As soon as the photo is restored and brought back to life, it will be released to the public. New quotes
about the war are available.
3-31-04
Nolan's
terrorist organization has sealed off this websites newscrew in the building and is threatening to blow it up. We cannot report
on what is going on outside right now. We have no information about what is going on. It is dark and there isn't any food
or water in here. Please Help!
4-1-04
We finally have
the picture of Nolan in a school yard, trying to blend in with the rest of the crowd. The only thing he doesn't know is that wearing
a paper bag on your head isn't very normal. This is the new plastic surgery version of Nolan so he may look a lot more different
4-4-04
A treaty has been
signed by both sides of the Glenn war. The decision is to merge both armies together to make an unbeatable army. Both armies
have agreed to help eachother fight against Nolan. The War against Glenn is over. The war against Nolan has just begun. Both
armies are merging to become the ultimate army which has not been named yet. Both Generals are dicussing what the army should
be called. With both armies merging, the Nolan menace should be brought to an end, and his terrorist organization as well.
General Glenn and General MaxRetarted are both making a statement tomorrow, and recruiting new people to this army. A new
web page on this site will be started for the Nolan war. Photos of the celebration of the Glenn war coming to an end are posted
below.
DESTRUCTION!
LIBERAL PARTY PHOTOS
CELEBRATIONS
MEDAL OF HONOR RECEIVERS
General MaxRetarted
Josh
Triet
Lance
General Glenn
Dan
Jake
The Glenn War is over.
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